


How Did You Not Get That?

by BananaWombat



Series: Avengers Dogpile (Featuring Bucky Barnes and Peter Parker) [6]
Category: The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Everyone's quoting Mean Girls, Lots of Mean Girls, Steve doesn't understand that reference, Superfamily, also with Thor, especially Tony and Clint, everyone is a little shit, everyone's fucking with Steve, lots of pop culture references, neither does Thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2120964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaWombat/pseuds/BananaWombat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers are on a mission to use as many pop culture references as they can without Steve (and Thor as an afterthought) catching on.</p><p>This means Mean Girls.</p><p>Lots of Mean Girls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The opening credits to _Matilda_ are playing when the game starts.

They're all draped over the enormous white leather sofas in the Avengers Tower, with various snacks and junk food. Thor's holding a bowl of popcorn roughly the size of a dustbin.

Danny DeVito's name comes up on screen.

"Oh my god, I love your work."

Natasha, Bruce and Peter were closest, their heads swivelling to look at Clint, who is now determinedly staring into his popcorn. Natasha has a raised eyebrow, Bruce looks politely puzzled, and realization and amusement is dawning on Peter.

The day after that, Natasha insists they watch the Batman with the Penguin. Natasha, Clint and Peter state it proudly in unison, causing Tony to smirk and Steve to look understandably confused.

 

* * *

 

"IS BUTTER A CARB?"

Natasha and Steve looked up from the breakfast bar. Tony had his head twisted to one side, yelling over his shoulder. A few moments later, they heard Clint's voice faintly yell "YES" from the bathroom.

Natasha sniggered.

 

* * *

 

 

"What?"

"The game works like this, see, you hold the controller like this, and you tilt - "

"What, I don't get it."

"Bucky, help me out here."

"You press to accelerate - "

"What?"

"SAY WHAT AGAIN, MOTHERFUCKER."

They all jump and look round.

Tony is standing with his feet planted firmly apart, aiming a finger-gun at Steve (who is sandwiched between and irritated Bucky and Peter, who is holding a Wii controller).

"Wha - "

"SAY WHAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU, I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" Peter suddenly shrieked, bouncing up to join Tony on the kitchen counter, raising his own fingers in the shape of a gun.

"I don't - "

 

* * *

 

 

"That's my uncle."

"The monkey is his uncle?!"

"Shut up, Clint."

 

* * *

 

"Never, ever put a brown tie with a blue suit, my dear Clinton," Tony declared, straightening Clint's now black tie.

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," Clint drawled, slapping the billionaire's hands away.

 

* * *

 

 

"But if you just - "

"Tony, for the last time, glittery coffee will never be a thing."

"But - "

"And neither will Iron Man coffee!"

"What about - "

"Plus I'm not buying one of your Iron Man mugs."

"But - "

"TONY, STOP TRYING TO MAKE FETCH HAPPEN, IT'S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN."

"Thanks, Clint," said Pepper wearily.

 

* * *

 

 

"How can you not want pizza?!"

"I wanna lose three pounds."

"Oh my god, you're so skinny."

"Shut up."

"HOLY HELL, DID NATASHA ACTUALLY JUST QUOTE MEAN GIRLS WITH CLINT?"

"I swear to all that is holy, Tony - "

 

* * *

 

 

"Get in loser, we're going shopping."

"Shopping? I thought we were heading downtown for the fight."

"Alright, Avenging then."

 

* * *

 

 

"Raise your hand if you have ever felt personally victimized by Tony Stark."

"Alright, alright, very funny, guys."

 

* * *

 

 

"So if you're Iron Man......why is it made of titanium alloy?"

"Oh my god, Clint, you can't just ask people why their suit is made of titanium alloy."

 

* * *

 

 

"That's why is Mercedes is so big, it's full of secrets."

"No, it's big because I have a lot of money."

"I thought that you'd at least appreciate the reference, Tony!"

"Don't worry, Peter, I did."

 


	2. Mission: Definitely Possible, Definitely Funny, Definitely Going To Annoy Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Star Wars and various other pop culture references make their appearances. Steve and Thor still don't get it.

"I AM TIRED OF THESE MOTHERHUGGING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERHUGGING PLANE!"

"Where are these snakes you speak of?"

"Wait, we're not on a plane."

"Don't worry, Peter, I get it. Unlike Point Break and Capsicle, I am educated in the many legendary quotes of Samuel L Jackson and his creepy likeness to our dear Director."

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey Tony, where's that little robot - Dummy?"

"It's Dum-E, for your information, Steve - "

"Oh, is that it?"

"This is not the droid you are looking for."

"What?"

"Oh, never mind."

 

* * *

 

 

"CLINT! Do you think Sam would be good at archery?"

"I don't know....good balance, he's got the hands for it, no nervous tremors..........."

"So.....the force is strong in this one?"

"Indeed."

 

* * *

 

 

"This is Agent Blackwell, he's a trainee. Natasha, you're going to be taking over his combat training."

"Aren't you a little.........."

.............

"A little what, Agent Blackwell?"

"A little short to be a stormtrooper?"

...............

"I'm sorry, I'll shut up now."

"Wise move, Peter."

"Hang on, what's a stormtrooper?"

"Gentlemen, settle down and fetch the popcorn. Natasha's about to throw down."

 

* * *

 

 

"WILL SOMEONE GET THIS WALKING CARPET OUT OF THE WAY!"

"Sam, you cannot refer to Thor as a walking carpet. Thor, your hair is very nice and definitely not a carpet."

 

* * *

 

 

"Tony, help me!"

"No can do. I do inventing and science-ing, not cooking."

"Bruce?"

"Absolutely not. The Other Guy hates the sound of stuff frying."

"Natasha?"

"Chopping, yes. Particularly meat. Actual cooking, no."

"Thor?"

"Why is there fire on the strange Midgardian rings of power?"

"Bucky?"

"I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF FREAKING MARIO KART, SAM. BOWSER JUST FREAKING BLUE-SHELLED ME. I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU."

"Steve?"

"Whoa, no way."

"Peter?"

"I'm a teenager, Sam, that's basically slang for instant ramen and takeaway milkshakes."

"Help me, Clint, you're my only hope!"

"When you ask me like that, I can't resist - JESUS H CHRIST, SAM, DID JABBA THE HUT EXPLODE IN HERE?"

 

* * *

 

 

"I'M A PAINTED WHORE!"

"Wearing blusher does not make you a 'painted whore', Clint."

"Jerk."

.........

"YOU RUINED IT, YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SAY BITCH, STEVE!"

"CLINT! LANGUAGE!"

 

* * *

 

 

"Off on a solo mission....."

"...NO, NATASHA, DON'T....."

"......I don't want to go."

"SCREW YOU, YOU JUST DRAGGED UP ONE OF THE MOST PAINFUL MEMORIES OF MY LIFE, YOU - !"

"What are they yelling about?"

"Sometimes, Steve, ignorance is best."

 

 


End file.
